


A Game of Love and Heartbeak

by Ryter21



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon), Tangled (2010)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Bittersweet, But its hopeful I promise, Character Study, Fluff, Found Family, Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27091390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryter21/pseuds/Ryter21
Summary: Varian knew he loved too easily.The people Varian has loved throughout his life, and where it's gotten him._____This story was spawned entirely from the line: "I'm so tired of being used by the people I love!"
Relationships: Hugo & Varian (Disney: Varian and the Seven Kingdoms)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	A Game of Love and Heartbeak

Varian knew he loved too easily. It was something he considered to be one of his greatest flaws, though he wouldn't ever do anything about it. Partly because he wasn't sure he could, and partly because his dad once said his mother was the same way. It was something they shared.

They loved quickly and deeply. Fiercely loyal and incredibly passionate, they held those they loved closely, willing to do whatever they could for them. It was one of the reasons Quirin had fallen for Ulla, actually. Unfortunately it also left them vulnerable to heartbreak.

It's what had gotten Ulla, in the end.

(It's what nearly got Varian, too.)

It wasn't always romantic love, of course. The first had been his father, though Varian wasn't sure if that really counted. He'd raised him on his own, his mother gone before he could remember her. Quirin did his best, and Varian never doubted his father loved him back but Varian was very much his mother's son, and alchemy was a bit beyond his grasp. He never quite knew what to do with Varian, with his inventions and alchemy and unending drive to learn and create and _help-_

Or at least, try.

So while Varian knew he had his father's love, he still craved his approval. Craved the look in his eyes that said Varian had made him proud. He just wanted to help, to make everyone's lives easier. He had so many of his mother's notes, but without her, without someone to help him learn most of his inventions only ended up making things worse. But he kept trying anyway, because somehow stopping felt like a worse betrayal than any of his failures ever would.

Next had been Cassandra. Strong, beautiful Cassandra who had taken his breath away. She seemed largely unimpressed, though he didn't let that deter him. When they met again at the expo he offered to help her, completing her chores so she could guard Doctor St. Croix, and she promised to be his assistant for his demonstration.

His crush died pretty quickly when she backed out. He lost the prize, lost the chance to show his worth and lost some of the respect he'd had for her. He got it, really, why she had done it. He knew all too well how far people would go to prove themselves to their fathers. But it still hurt.

Then there was Rapunzel. She was kind, and sincere and came to _him_ for help! She treated him nicely, seemed to actually enjoy spending time with him. She didn't understand his alchemy, but she was happy to listen to him talk about it anyway. She actually listened to him, which his father never really had time for.

(Maybe, he thought late at night, this is what an older sister would feel like.)

When she turned him away during the blizzard, he felt the hot stab of betrayal bury itself deep in his heart. She'd _promised_ him! And when he needed her most, she threw him out. She'd gotten his help, and then threw him away.

(Later on, after he'd cooled his head and thought rationally, he understood. She was regent, and her people were in danger. She had priorities, and he'd forced her to make a decision between him and her entire kingdom. He understood.

(That didn't mean it still didn't hurt.))

Then he betrayed her, all rage and desperation because he had nothing left. His dad was- gone, the village deserted, and even after the storm no one came to check on them. The rocks grew thicker, and still the king ignoring the dangers, and he had to do _something_. So broken hearted he hatched an insane plan, used her to get the flower. When that failed, he kidnapped the queen to use her instead.

He failed. He expected to, really. He talked a good game, about hating Corona and what he would do the kingdom after, but honestly he hadn't really come up with and end game. He just wanted his dad back. And then that failed, and everything was a blur and he was piloting the mech and Rapunzel touched the rocks-

He stewed in his anger all the way to jail. After he'd been thrown in a cell, chains on his wrists and Ruddiger taken, he let himself cry. He wasn't angry anymore, he was just tired and guilty. And empty. It was in there he met Andrew.

Andrew was older, calm and collected even in the face of the guard's taunts. He seemed to take Varian under his wing, listening to his story and protecting him from the other prisoners; he seemed to be everything Varian had hoped Eugene would be. Andrew was interested in his work! He would tell him about Saporia, about the Separatists and their dream to free their land. He told him about Saporian magic, the Wand of Oblivium, and asked for his help.

Varian, stewing in his guilt and seeing a way out, agreed. He helped Andrew break out, returned with him to Saporia. They made a plan, and Varian worked on the memory gas. Even after they took over Corona, sent people to work in the mines he kept his head down. Revenge, he told Andrew. Guilt, though, gnawed at his soul. If he could make the gas, he could make everyone forget and everything could go back to the way it was.

Then Rapunzel came back, and Andrew revealed that he intended to destroy Corona and he felt that familiar sting in his chest. He'd used him, strung him along like a toy, prayed on his emotions with no intention of letting him have his happy ending. So he'd turned around and tried to do the right thing, and ended up in a cell again.

He curled up on the cot, pressed against the wall. This was it; Corona was going to fall, and it was going to be all his fault. And then Rapunzel reached out. He wasn't sure if he could trust her, again. But he wanted to try. So they broke out and she vouched for him and they saved the kingdom. He half expected to be thrown right back into his cell, once everything was settled.

But no, Rapunzel insisted he was free. And then she kept her promise, and his dad was free, and Varian swore he'd do anything she asked of him from now on. It was the least he could do.

He slowly started to let himself relax around the others. He was still skittish, partly because of guilt and partly because he was still hesitant about letting himself love again, but in the end he couldn't deny his own nature. Eugene and Rapunzel, Lance and the girls, everyone Varian was helpless not to love again.

And then Cassandra kidnapped him, and he was used again. He was helpless against his own truth serum, and he felt the betrayal twofold. Cassandra for forcing his hand, and himself for giving her the power she needed to go up against Rapunzel. But Rapunzel didn't blame him, and they all came for him, and all Varian could do was love them harder.

Things were better and worse between him and his father. On one hand dad had said he was proud of him. He tried to listen more, opened up about some of his past. But Varian had grown so much in the past year, was more used to independence and having to put his foot down and his father wasn't prepared for that. The first time they really clashed had been ugly; Quirin used to Varian backing down and then Varian didn't. They spent the rest of the night in silence, but they talked in the morning about things that had changed, and were on their way to making things work.

Although Varian knew he had his father's love, and a small part of him would always want his approval, he wouldn't be cowed anymore. Quirin was just going to have to live with that.

It was years later that his bleeding heart hurt him again. He was on his journey through the seven kingdoms trying to finish his mother's work; completing the seven trials to find the Eternal Library. He met so many interesting people along the way.

Yong, young and enthusiastic and so much like Varian at that age. He couldn't help but take him in, show him things about alchemy he'd wished someone would have taught him. He wondered if this is what having a little brother felt like.

Nuru, calm and dedicated. Varian admired her, with her cool head and selfless devotion to her kingdom. She was an amazing friend, and he was thrilled when she agreed to join them, happy to have someone else to talk with on his level that he didn't want to regularly throttle.

Speaking of.

It had actually taken a bit longer to love Hugo. He'd swooped in and stolen their first totem, taunting them and vanishing into the night. Then he was back the next day, promising he was there to help. Varian was not convinced.

But he knew they wouldn't be able to complete the trials just the two of them, so he agreed. He knew Hugo's type. The last five years with Eugene and Lance and the girls meant he was ready for anything Hugo might try to get past him. Four years of being part of Rapunzel's court, dealing with snobby nobles (and Nigel) ensured that Hugo's nose remained unbroken.

But eventually Varian started to relax. Hugo was snarky and infuriating, but he hadn't done anything overtly untrustworthy. He helped them through the trials, saved Varian's skin as often as Varian saved his. And eventually Varian felt the love grow. Platonic at first, love for a friend. Then, over time it shifted to something else.

He started to _like_ Hugo. He was smart, witty and matched him toe to toe. He wouldn't take shit from anyone, about himself or any of their companions. The small, begrudging spark of admiration grew into genuine affection, and Varian dared to hope.

Turned out Hugo liked him back. It wasn't serious, just minor teasing and sweet smiles across the campfire. Varian wasn't looking for romance, not right now with so much more work to be done. But flirting was _fun._

They made their way through the seven kingdoms, completing trials and collecting the totems and growing closer the whole way. They learn so much and come so far, and Varian knows that this time, he's made the right choice.

And then they get to the Iron Kingdom, meet Donella (mom's partner, Hugo's _mother?_ ) and things go downhill fast. They lose the totems, lose months of work, lose Hugo. Varian feels his heart breaking.

He should have known better. He knew he loved too easily, quick to fall and quicker to fail in the end. The love he has for his family back in Corona is strong, but it's patchwork and welded together from betrayal and reconciliation. He wonders if that's the only kind of love he can have.

They escape Ingvarr, make camp once they feel they're far enough away. Everyone is solemn, chores done quietly in the dark. They don't light a fire, too afraid of being found again. Yong tries to cheer him up, but it's hard when the boy is fighting back his own tears, so he tells him to tend to Prometheus instead. Nuru mends her bag with tight, angry stitches by the glow if a vial. She's kind enough not to say I told you so.

Varian goes for a walk. A short one, he promises, and not too far. He leaves Ruddiger behind and walks until he's just out of earshot of the others and then falls back against a tree, burying his face in his knees. The night is quiet, the stench of the industrial kingdom enough to scare off most animals, and Varian is left alone with his thoughts.

It's not long though before he hears someone moving in the trees. He thinks it's one of his friends at first, the noise is deliberate, but he realizes it's coming from the wrong direction. He debates honestly whether he cares enough to get up and face whomever it is, when they stop a few feet in front of him. It takes more effort than he cared to admit to raise his head.

Hugo stands there, lantern in one hand, bag over one shoulder and Varian can make out the vague shape of the totems inside. He has that bashful smile on his face, though its less effective with the black eye Varian had given him only hours before blooming. It's so parallel to the second time they met, when Hugo had returned the fire totem and schmoozed his way into their group that for a moment Varian isn't sure if he's dreaming or not.

But then a steam train whistles in the night and the spell is broken and Varian is on his feet, fists clenched and rage like he hadn't felt in years filling his soul. He's not sure whether to laugh or cry.

"What are you doing here?" He spits, cataloging what vials he has on him, debating how quickly he could get back to the others, oh stars have the rest of the guild found the camp?

"I came to return these," Hugo says softly, as if he's talking to a wild animal. He wasn't that far off, honestly. "And to apologize."

"Apologize?" All Varian could see was red, though if that was the anger or the welling tears he wasn't sure. "You think you can apologize for this? We trusted you, Hugo!"

Hugo tosses the bag on the ground between them; a peace offering. His breath is shaky, though he still looks as put together as ever, "I'm here now, aren't I? Got the totems, got your mom's journal, fixed-"

"This fixes nothing!" Sun and moon he was crying now. "You were our friend! We've spent almost a year together, facing trials and fighting bandits and I knew you were hiding something, we all did, but we _thought_ that whatever it was, we'd face it together. We'd help you whenever you were ready to come forward because we cared about you, but this whole time you've been playing us! We were just a means to an end, pawns in some _fucking_ game that we didn't even know we were playing, and you know what? I'm done!" He's gotten louder and louder as he spoke; he hopes vaguely that the others hear him and come running, that they're ok. "I'm so _tired_ of being used by the people I love!"

The silence rings after he's finished. He's panting, chest heaving and tears running down his face and he's got his eyes shut tight because he can't bear to look at Hugo anymore. The only thing in the air is the distant noise of Ingvarr's never sleeping factories and the wind in the trees.

There's a long pause, and then Hugo's walking towards him and Varian braces himself for pain, breath hitching and-

Hugo's arms wrap around him, holding him close and pressing Varian's face into his neck. Varian's arms come up automatically, hands clutching at the back of Hugo's jacket. He bites back fresh sobs, tears soaking the material as he wonders what kind of sick game this is-

"I told Donella I was done," was not what he was expecting Hugo to say. He can barely believe what he's hearing, "It was just a game at first. We wanted the totems, and you guys were already going through the trouble; might as well tag along, wait for the right moment to dip out. Easy and clean."

"Don't do this, Hugo," Varian whispers, "Don't let me hope-"

"But things changed. You guys started growing on me; started showing me other ways to live, proved that there were truly kind, unselfish people out there. And I've always found you interesting, Varian. You're brilliant and talented, and you've worked so hard for everything you have. Eventually I realized that I didn't want to go back to the guild, but I didn't think you'd take it well if I told the truth. I kept putting it off, thinking I had more time, and then…" He trailed off, uncertain.

"So why did you do it?" Varian asked, logic still trying to beat down his bleeding heart.

"Donella practically raised me," Hugo admitted. "Took me off the streets, taught me everything from alchemy to combat to hustling. I owe her and Cyrus everything." He paused, trying to gather his thoughts because Varian deserved the truth, "But I love you, Varian."

"Hugo-"

"So I told her, I couldn't do it anymore. That you didn't deserve that, none of you did, and that I was out. It was the hardest fucking thing I've ever done, Varian, and I'm still shaking, but I did it and I know nothing I can do will ever make up for today but _please_ let me try-" He's cut off by soft lips on his. Varian's kissing him, he thinks dimly, and then he stops thinking and kisses him back. It's short, just a simple press of their lips and then Varian is back to hiding in his collar.

"I'm still pissed at you," he says, muffled.

"I know," Hugo says into his hair, the weight that had been sitting in his chest since they entered Ingvarr starting to lighten.

"And I can't- Hugo, I'm not ok. I can't be anything more, not for a long time. Maybe not ever."

That was still more than Hugo had been expecting, honestly. "I know."

Quiet again, and then, "You're explaining yourself to Yong and Nuru."

Hugo groaned quietly. Yong's kicked puppy eyes were killer but he could probably win the boy over, but there was _no way_ Nuru was going to let him live this down. Varian huffed out a laugh, finally pulling himself out of Hugo's arms. He reaches down and grabs the bag of totems. He picks the lantern up from there it had been set in the grass and hands it to Hugo.

"Come on," he says, a weak, tired smile on his lips. "We need to get some sleep tonight; I want to get as far away from Ingvarr as we can tomorrow. We only have one kingdom left."

"Yes sir," Hugo smiles back, and together they turn back to where Nuru and Yong are waiting in the dark for Varian's return, both too on edge to sleep until he does.

As they walk, Varian hopes he's doing the right thing. He thinks he is; despite everything, he's become a pretty good judge of character. He's trusting Hugo now, despite everything because his heart tells him to. He'll help smooth things over with the others (after watching Hugo flail for a while first, of course) and then they'll head for Corona. They're almost done, and the thought it a bittersweet relief. They've grown so much on this adventure that he'll be sad to see them go, even with how much he's missed home.

Varian knows he loves too easily. He gives out his heart like it was candy to share, and even as often as it gets trampled he won't change that. It's too much a part of who he is. It was something he shared with his mother, and while it had consumed her in the end Varian refused to let that happen to him.

He guarded his heart closer now than he had when he was younger. Hugo had earned it, before, and Varian was sure he could earn it again. But Varian was going to make him fight for it; he wouldn't be satisfied with pretty words and a handsome smile. He hoped Hugo was willing to work for it. He wanted to prove he had changed? Then fine, Varian and Nuru would put him through the ringer.

But really, Varian thought as his eyes slid over to Hugo's downcast but determined face at his side, Hugo had always come through, in the end. They just needed some time.


End file.
